Monday, January 16, 2012
SBF Photography- lets get it started!
Monday, January 9, 2012
2012 will you rock my world?
It is 2012 now. An entire year went by and I didn't blog. I'm back though and will be blogging every week :) This one is about 2011 and 2012.
The year 2011:
Honestly, this year was one of the hardest years I've had. I learned a lot, true... but I sure am glad it's over! In 2011 I went through quite a few jobs. I was a dance instructor, a 2 year old teacher, a pre-k teacher at a chinese school (that was interesting), a new born photographer, and a beauty advisor. What I learned from this... I need stability because change is too much fun for me and that's not good for my mentality and health! I also learned what I really want to do as my career in this life and that is to be a high school counselor, that's my calling. From several situations that have happened I learned that. I got to pursue 2 careers that I always wanted to do.. dance instructor and beauty adviser/make up artist. I did it, I kicked butt and now it's time to get serious! Home schooling Kenzie to pass time- I learned that I need more patience and I'm not that great to work with one on one. But we also had fun, it was great going outside finding leaves and making art with it. Or flowers, or random things around the house. I'm just too anxious that is what my problem is and thats not my baby bear's fault. My relationship with Steven, a lot of mixed emotions through out the entire 2011 year. We broke up, we had tempers, we argued a lot (esp towards the end), but we also both dealt with things in the wrong way and we both learned from it. I think it's def made us stronger. Last year I didn't think we would end up back together, I thought it was hopeless and I was totally and completely done. He was persistant on seeing Kenzie and still being a father figure to her, which I appreciate very much. When I decided it was time to let them two see eachother Kenzie was glued to him, we had a great family time, it brought back good memories, that I forgot and ignored because I can be a very negative person. So at the end of the year we came back together. 2011 was very very very bitter sweet and hard. Negitive vibes. No bueno.
2012: Positive vibes! This year I can feel is going to be a creative, expressive, easier, romantic, family oriented year! Goals I have for 2012 that are realistic.... okay, so I would love to lose weight so I'm planning on just changing my diet to healthy but not starving. I won't call it dieting, just being healthy. I've been good so far :) Patience- that I can fix with some good ol meds. Money, money needs to come my way, work on my business and make my OWN money honey! Photography, that is my business I'm working one. Advertising, showing my work, and taking random pictures for the hell of it. It's nice to just have a journey with my camera and I. SBF Photography will be sucessful this year. Relationship, mine and Steven's relationship is better than ever. We've worked through a lot, we've been through a lot, and we've grown alot, we still have more to grow with :) but I'm happy to be doing this with him. I'm pretty sure I'll have a ring on my finger soon, if not then my vibes are WAY off. But I'm thinking.... yes! Arts & crafts- I'm starting this "Do the express yourself" this year. I've already started. It's where everyday you do one thing for yourself. Only for yourself. Take a picture and post it on blogger or on fb or where ever your social netowrk is and jot down how it made you feel at the time. It's something to look forward to everyday. Or you could just keep in your own personal old school write down journal and keep it completely private and personal. But that to me is NO fun! I gotta share it! It could be as simple as writeing a blog, taking a bubble bath with candles, reading a chapter of a good book, making a home made craft for your home or your child's room, do some gardening, edit an old picture, take an artistic photo, do your hair and make up in a unique way, what ever it may be! It's what I'm looking forward to this year!
So 2012, let me grow, get me meds, get me engaged, get me crafty, get me busy, and get me business! Rock my world!
The year 2011:
Honestly, this year was one of the hardest years I've had. I learned a lot, true... but I sure am glad it's over! In 2011 I went through quite a few jobs. I was a dance instructor, a 2 year old teacher, a pre-k teacher at a chinese school (that was interesting), a new born photographer, and a beauty advisor. What I learned from this... I need stability because change is too much fun for me and that's not good for my mentality and health! I also learned what I really want to do as my career in this life and that is to be a high school counselor, that's my calling. From several situations that have happened I learned that. I got to pursue 2 careers that I always wanted to do.. dance instructor and beauty adviser/make up artist. I did it, I kicked butt and now it's time to get serious! Home schooling Kenzie to pass time- I learned that I need more patience and I'm not that great to work with one on one. But we also had fun, it was great going outside finding leaves and making art with it. Or flowers, or random things around the house. I'm just too anxious that is what my problem is and thats not my baby bear's fault. My relationship with Steven, a lot of mixed emotions through out the entire 2011 year. We broke up, we had tempers, we argued a lot (esp towards the end), but we also both dealt with things in the wrong way and we both learned from it. I think it's def made us stronger. Last year I didn't think we would end up back together, I thought it was hopeless and I was totally and completely done. He was persistant on seeing Kenzie and still being a father figure to her, which I appreciate very much. When I decided it was time to let them two see eachother Kenzie was glued to him, we had a great family time, it brought back good memories, that I forgot and ignored because I can be a very negative person. So at the end of the year we came back together. 2011 was very very very bitter sweet and hard. Negitive vibes. No bueno.
2012: Positive vibes! This year I can feel is going to be a creative, expressive, easier, romantic, family oriented year! Goals I have for 2012 that are realistic.... okay, so I would love to lose weight so I'm planning on just changing my diet to healthy but not starving. I won't call it dieting, just being healthy. I've been good so far :) Patience- that I can fix with some good ol meds. Money, money needs to come my way, work on my business and make my OWN money honey! Photography, that is my business I'm working one. Advertising, showing my work, and taking random pictures for the hell of it. It's nice to just have a journey with my camera and I. SBF Photography will be sucessful this year. Relationship, mine and Steven's relationship is better than ever. We've worked through a lot, we've been through a lot, and we've grown alot, we still have more to grow with :) but I'm happy to be doing this with him. I'm pretty sure I'll have a ring on my finger soon, if not then my vibes are WAY off. But I'm thinking.... yes! Arts & crafts- I'm starting this "Do the express yourself" this year. I've already started. It's where everyday you do one thing for yourself. Only for yourself. Take a picture and post it on blogger or on fb or where ever your social netowrk is and jot down how it made you feel at the time. It's something to look forward to everyday. Or you could just keep in your own personal old school write down journal and keep it completely private and personal. But that to me is NO fun! I gotta share it! It could be as simple as writeing a blog, taking a bubble bath with candles, reading a chapter of a good book, making a home made craft for your home or your child's room, do some gardening, edit an old picture, take an artistic photo, do your hair and make up in a unique way, what ever it may be! It's what I'm looking forward to this year!
So 2012, let me grow, get me meds, get me engaged, get me crafty, get me busy, and get me business! Rock my world!
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Where are my pearls and high heels?
I do photography (Freelance), sure! I DO work... not very often. I'm a stay at home mom while my boyfriend makes the doh. I hear "mommy I need this, I want this, what do you think about this, will you play store with me, barbies, dolls, ANYTHING, mommy, mommy, mommy". I would love to have a full-time job, my daughter in school and then give her great big hugs and kisses when I don't get to see her all day because I'm working and shes learning! I love my family, I love my life, but I need a change! I clean, I cook, tend to my daughter, and thats how I contribute around here. Where are my pearls and high heels? Can't forget the apron! It sounds peachy, sure, but trust me ladies.. it gets hard just being in the house all day! I know women do this, but this is not for me. My daughter is starting to see me really on edge. I hate that she is so bored and she wants to go to school so badly, all though I love her ambition. I can't and am not happy playing dolls and pretending to go grocery shopping all day. She gets lonely being the only child! If only she had a sibling, life would be a little easier for her anyway :) I have been to countless job interviews! I have experience with teaching (foster home, rehabilitation center, dancing, all ages from 4-18), photography... why is this so hard to find a job?! I'm looking to get out of the career of teaching (the little ones). I want to communicate with adults during the day and go back to my child when school is over and work is done for the day. I love my child but I don't want to live and breathe her, as well as I'm sure she doesn't want live and breathe me. I think we both need time away from home, and eachother. Not like a break break, but the normal everyday life..... schooling and working. We are both independent and eager individuals! Both of us being home everyday, knowing this is where we are and are going to be everyday from the moment we wake up till we go to bed... can you see how it would drive me crazy? Atleast if I were working and she were in school then we would have something to really look forward to for the next day and would WANT to come home to eachother. Sure, we do fun things, arts and crafts, we play games, we go to the park sometimes (not here lately). But this mommy needs her time! Its time for a change! I think mommy needs to take off her pearls, high heels, and apron and go work like life is calling me to do! Let me get my business atire and go make some money honey!
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
Blogger's first post
Well, first I would like to start out by saying hello to everyone because I know these are public Blogs... Hello! My best friend, Amber, shared this site with me. She told me how much she appreciates it. She introduced this to me and I'm sure I'll enjoy it! I'm certainly willing to let my business out there about anything I will blog about... of course, or I wouldn't be blogging to the public. I see this as an oppurtunity to use as an "online journal" that I don't mind sharing. So, I'll start tonight.
This month is my mom's anniversary of death. On the 27th it will be 2 years sense my mother has left this world. I sure do miss her. She was my best friend. I was very close to her and so was my 5 year old daughter. Its very hard to loose a parent and especially before they could see you grow and learn from your mistakes, be proud of you from growing and learning. Before they can see you marry, or even see you be with a great person. To see you accomplish goals in life, mother a child on your own and as a team. The hardest part about not having my mom around is I can't and know I will not ever get to speak to her and hear her voice in this life again. There are things that I would like to ask my mom's advice on... that only SHE could tell me what needs to be told me, or maybe I ONLY want to hear her advice. Its tough. I wish she were here so she could see I'm maturing with age quite well. I want her to be proud of me and I know she would be if she were here. I look up to my mom even to this day. She was a strong woman. She battled cancer for 2 1/2 years and died just trying to live. She was there for me through thick and thin, even though we didn't always get along or I was a teen and hard to deal with... she was still there no matter how mad at me she was. She was a great mother, grandmother, friend, wife, sister, and person all around. I appreciate her more now than I ever have. I wish she were here so I could tell her that. I have close friends, a loving boyfriend, family that loves me, and myself to try and be stable... but a mother is a very different friend and love... its hard not to have her around. Things are not the same for my brother's and I sense she has been gone. I sometimes can hardley believe shes gone. I watched a movie for the first time the other night called "My sister's keeper" and it really brought back memories of her. She did fight for her life, she was sick constantly but kept a positive attitude the entire time. I had a dream about her that night.. she came to me and told me somethings I need to improve on and we also had some good laughs. Maybe she visited me in my dream... maybe that is possible. I would like to think thats what it is, it felt as if it was a visit. I hope she visits me more. RIP mother you are missed by many and always will be.
This month is my mom's anniversary of death. On the 27th it will be 2 years sense my mother has left this world. I sure do miss her. She was my best friend. I was very close to her and so was my 5 year old daughter. Its very hard to loose a parent and especially before they could see you grow and learn from your mistakes, be proud of you from growing and learning. Before they can see you marry, or even see you be with a great person. To see you accomplish goals in life, mother a child on your own and as a team. The hardest part about not having my mom around is I can't and know I will not ever get to speak to her and hear her voice in this life again. There are things that I would like to ask my mom's advice on... that only SHE could tell me what needs to be told me, or maybe I ONLY want to hear her advice. Its tough. I wish she were here so she could see I'm maturing with age quite well. I want her to be proud of me and I know she would be if she were here. I look up to my mom even to this day. She was a strong woman. She battled cancer for 2 1/2 years and died just trying to live. She was there for me through thick and thin, even though we didn't always get along or I was a teen and hard to deal with... she was still there no matter how mad at me she was. She was a great mother, grandmother, friend, wife, sister, and person all around. I appreciate her more now than I ever have. I wish she were here so I could tell her that. I have close friends, a loving boyfriend, family that loves me, and myself to try and be stable... but a mother is a very different friend and love... its hard not to have her around. Things are not the same for my brother's and I sense she has been gone. I sometimes can hardley believe shes gone. I watched a movie for the first time the other night called "My sister's keeper" and it really brought back memories of her. She did fight for her life, she was sick constantly but kept a positive attitude the entire time. I had a dream about her that night.. she came to me and told me somethings I need to improve on and we also had some good laughs. Maybe she visited me in my dream... maybe that is possible. I would like to think thats what it is, it felt as if it was a visit. I hope she visits me more. RIP mother you are missed by many and always will be.
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