Where are my pearls and high heels?

I do photography (Freelance), sure! I DO work... not very often. I'm a stay at home mom while my boyfriend makes the doh. I hear "mommy I need this, I want this, what do you think about this, will you play store with me, barbies, dolls, ANYTHING, mommy, mommy, mommy". I would love to have a full-time job, my daughter in school and then give her great big hugs and kisses when I don't get to see her all day because I'm working and shes learning! I love my family, I love my life, but I need a change! I clean, I cook, tend to my daughter, and thats how I contribute around here. Where are my pearls and high heels? Can't forget the apron! It sounds peachy, sure, but trust me ladies.. it gets hard just being in the house all day! I know women do this, but this is not for me. My daughter is starting to see me really on edge. I hate that she is so bored and she wants to go to school so badly, all though I love her ambition. I can't and am not happy playing dolls and pretending to go grocery shopping all day. She gets lonely being the only child! If only she had a sibling, life would be a little easier for her anyway :) I have been to countless job interviews! I have experience with teaching (foster home, rehabilitation center, dancing, all ages from 4-18), photography... why is this so hard to find a job?! I'm looking to get out of the career of teaching (the little ones). I want to communicate with adults during the day and go back to my child when school is over and work is done for the day. I love my child but I don't want to live and breathe her, as well as I'm sure she doesn't want live and breathe me. I think we both need time away from home, and eachother. Not like a break break, but the normal everyday life..... schooling and working. We are both independent and eager individuals! Both of us being home everyday, knowing this is where we are and are going to be everyday from the moment we wake up till we go to bed... can  you see how it would drive me crazy? Atleast if I were working and she were in school then we would have something to really look forward to for the next day and would WANT to come home to eachother. Sure, we do fun things, arts and crafts, we play games, we go to the park sometimes (not here lately). But this mommy needs her time! Its time for a change! I think mommy needs to take off her pearls, high heels, and apron and go work like life is calling me to do! Let me get my business atire and go make some money honey!

Blogger's first post

Well, first I would like to start out by saying hello to everyone because I know these are public Blogs... Hello! My best friend, Amber, shared this site with me. She told me how much she appreciates it. She introduced this to me and I'm sure I'll enjoy it! I'm certainly willing to let my business out there about anything I will blog about... of course, or I wouldn't be blogging to the public. I see this as an oppurtunity to use as an "online journal" that I don't mind sharing. So, I'll start tonight.


This month is my mom's anniversary of death. On the 27th it will be 2 years sense my mother has left this world. I sure do miss her. She was my best friend. I was very close to her and so was my 5 year old daughter. Its very hard to loose a parent and especially before they could see you grow and learn from your mistakes, be proud of you from growing and learning. Before they can see you marry, or even see you be with a great person. To see you accomplish goals in life, mother a child on your own and as a team. The hardest part about not having my mom around is I can't and know I will not ever get to speak to her and hear her voice in this life again. There are things that I would like to ask my mom's advice on... that only SHE could tell me what needs to be told me, or maybe I ONLY want to hear her advice. Its tough. I wish she were here so she could see I'm maturing with age quite well. I want her to be proud of me and I know she would be if she were here. I look up to my mom even to this day. She was a strong woman. She battled cancer for 2 1/2 years and died just trying to live. She was there for me through thick and thin, even though we didn't always get along or I was a teen and hard to deal with... she was still there no matter how mad at me she was. She was a great mother, grandmother, friend, wife, sister, and person all around. I appreciate her more now than I ever have. I wish she were here so I could tell her that. I have close friends, a loving boyfriend, family that loves me, and myself to try and be stable... but a mother is a very different friend and love... its hard not to have her around. Things are not the same for my brother's and I sense she has been gone. I sometimes can hardley believe shes gone. I watched a movie for the first time the other night called "My sister's keeper" and it really brought back memories of her. She did fight for her life, she was sick constantly but kept a positive attitude the entire time. I had a dream about her that night.. she came to me and told me somethings I need to improve on and we also had some good laughs. Maybe she visited me in my dream... maybe that is possible. I would like to think thats what it is, it felt as if it was a visit. I hope she visits me more. RIP mother you are missed by many and always will be.